It seems kind of early.
Is it too early to start drinking?

Monty decrees it is acceptable to start drinking once any of the following conditions have been met:

1. After noon for beer, after five for liquor.
2. When meat hits a grill.
3. Upon stepping foot on a golf course.
4. After entering an airport with the intention of flying.
5. When preparing to observe space flight.
6. When waiting to observe a sporting event.
7. Immediately upon waking on the following days:

   • St. Patrick's Day
   • Oktoberfest
   • Mardi Gras
   • Your birthday
8. Any time when in the tropics.
9. Immediately following an exam.
10. Any time when drinking only bloody marys or mimosas.
11. After being offered a drink by someone who has met one of the above conditions.